A message to the masses

I haven't written anything down on this little blog that's worth noticing and taking away with you. And I'm certainly not going to start now.

Today I sent a script to a corporation that will probably glance at the first ten pages and toss it in the "reject" pile (where so much of the tripe that's broadcast on television these days belongs - but alas, that's a post for another day). I more or less know a hundred percent that putting the stamp on it and giving it to the lady behind the counter at the Post Office will be the last step in this particular project. I have very little hope for the idea, mainly because I'm a naive nineteen year old with very little life experience, a small amount of skill and virtually no "get-up-and-go". But there is a little string of hope that I am dangling from with it. As I wished the envelope good luck in it's journey to London, I momentarily thought how I could potentially look back at this day as the day that started the big boulder rolling. But then I slammed back down to Earth, shoved my hands in my pockets and made my way home.

Yet stranger things have happened. How nice would it be if someone reading the dreadful script (trust me - I've put my heart and soul into it and I'm still embarrassed by it) looked past the poor dialogue, the ridiculous plot and the unfunny quips? Wouldn't it be wonderful if they saw a glimmer of potential shining through those A4 pages.

Sometimes hope is all we have. I've recently expressed interest in writing for an independent gaming website - getting paid nothing, but getting my written word out there in a sort of semi-professional manner. It's something I've tried before and failed at; running before I could walk and ultimately receiving no word back from the top-dogs. Pricks. So this will be something to put in my writer's CV and hopefully get a tiny acorn rolling rather than the big boulder. And from tiny acorn's, mighty oaks grow. That doesn't work here... But shush... I'm being pretentious and optimistically philosophical.

Good luck little script. And say "Hi" to the other worthless ideas in the reject pile.

Happenings...

...Or rather the lack of them.

Well loyal reader. More or less a whole week has passed since the first post in this apologetic excuse of a blog and have things happened? Err...

Seven days is a short amount of time if you think about it. There are 365 days in a year. Let's say that an average male living in the UK lives to the ripe old age of 81 (due to rise to 83 by the year 2020...scary huh!?), then that lucky ol' sausage will experience 29585 days including the added days from leap years. Knock seven from them, and we're looking at twenty-nine thousand, five-hundred and seventy-eight days... I think those seven days of "nothingness" are forgiveable in the long run, no?

I doubt if I look back retrospectively from the certain future I face of success, wealth, love, experience, liver failure and probably diabetes - whilst sitting by the poolside of my luxurious 9 bedroomed villa as my beautiful fourth wife rubs suntan lotion into my brown tanned (yet slightly wrinkled) skin and I lap ice-cream from the belly button of my teenage (yet very legal) mistress - I will say to myself, "I should have put those plans into motion seven days earlier".

And as someone once (probably) said: "Baby steps young one. Baby steps."

So forgive me for an actual lack of happenings that should have happened but ultimately haven't happened. And forgive me for my actual lack of excuse as to why the happenings haven't actually happened. And forgive me for the lack of motivation to put the plans into action, as there are no plans to put into action and no plan on making the plans.

But don't forgive me for taking time out of the 7140040 hours I potentially have in my lifetime to spend 1 hour 45 minutes watching the film "White Chicks". Some things are just unforgivable.

First steps...

Well faithful blog reader, today has been a momentous one in making the first step to getting the little ol' life on some form of track. Some might think it as nothing... but to me it was a task that I had to deliberate for a long while before getting my shoes on and taking the leap.

Yes, today was the day I stepped into my local barbers and had my hair cut.

"Wow" you might sarcastically say. But trust me, this is a huge and painful task for me. As I have (or rather had) luscious locks of curly haired greatness. I'd had it for a long long long time; it firmly securing me an identity during the school years as "Wog head" or "Amazing haired guy" (depending on whether the person calling me the name was wearing a track-suit or not). I cut it in June last year, drastically short and wasn't happy with the results - it just wasn't me. So I grew it again and swore I'd never chop off the 'fro again... Until today of course.

So now I appear to be rocking a slightly smaller, and tighter curled perm rather than the long strands of frizziness that I had earlier this morning. And I am hoping for two things from the radical change in hairstyle. 1) That I shall be taken more seriously as a possible job candidate (if anything makes itself available). And B) That I can mingle in society without standing out like a sore-thumb. I'd hate to think of myself as a sheep, but in today's word it makes more sense to play safe and avoid the angry eyes of chavs (who seem to get very annoyed by long hair for some reason). It's easier that way... Plus, I didn't look good with all the hair along with the extra weight I'm currently carrying. I was a horrific stereotype of a geek. Cutting it was a good move.

Let's hope that I can use my new, smarter and more professional haircut to secure me a position that will give me some form of income. At the very least it will stop me from getting beat up in the dole-queue if I decide to sign onto benefits (I hope it doesn't come to that). But for now, I suppose the next step is to get some exercise into my daily routine...

I'll keep you updated oh anonymous and faceless reader.

The Robin

The Dawning of Something Special?

Why hello there.

Somehow, you've managed to find this piece of text in the large undergrowth of the web. You've seeded through all the horrific porn, got past the viral clips of babies laughing and dogs humping tractor tyres, and managed to tear yourself away from social-networking. Well done you. Have a biscuit for your troubles - on me.

And here we are. You, reading this text that I may have written months, years... hell, even aeons ago? But right now, I am here in my present, writing down these little words on a laptop in my bedroom in merry ol' England, United Kingdom, Europe, Earth. What's the future like? Have the ants taken over? I always knew the ants would take over. Bastard ants!

I don't claim to be anything special. Far from it... I am as average as they come. Just a normal, slightly over-weight, 19 year old man (am I a man yet? I don't feel like one. Let's stick with boy) struggling to make sense of this business we call life. At the moment I am jobless, still living with my family and with my life seemingly heading in no direction whatsoever. The pause button has been pressed down firmly for me in the past year, with those immediately surrounding me on play, or even fast-forward. I'm not complaining (yes I am... trust me, I'm complaining) as I'm fairly happy with the state of affairs, but I'm massively bored now. Incredibly bored. And I need a new direction.

So, this "blog" will just be ramblings from my day-to-day life along the new path that I hope to take. I don't intend to offer you anything particularly thought provoking, humorous or even interesting (I can hear most of you clicking the "back" button and heading back towards Facebook to check if you've had any status updates now - you traitors). Nope, all I can present here are my diary entries, thoughts and general feelings on ... stuff.

Or maybe I won't. I'm not very good at sticking to things, and this may be another hopeless attempt at something to occupy myself for a short while. I guess only time will tell. And if you're reading this in the far future then possibly I've already reached that new direction and you can track my progress from the other blogs I will have made. Or maybe I haven't done anything at all, and I'm still in the exact same position, sitting in this chair and shaking my head at people who join ridiculous groups on Facebook ("Hi, I'm a boy and I'll tear your heart out because it's the stereotypical image depressed teenage girls have").

Either way, congratulations on getting this far. Reward yourself with another biscuit. Go on! You deserve it for soldiering on with this block o' text.

I hope I'll be back soon to tell you more about what's happening. Now I'm off to check my Facebook status updates! Exciting stuff!

Yours faithfully,

The Robin.