Happenings...

...Or rather the lack of them.

Well loyal reader. More or less a whole week has passed since the first post in this apologetic excuse of a blog and have things happened? Err...

Seven days is a short amount of time if you think about it. There are 365 days in a year. Let's say that an average male living in the UK lives to the ripe old age of 81 (due to rise to 83 by the year 2020...scary huh!?), then that lucky ol' sausage will experience 29585 days including the added days from leap years. Knock seven from them, and we're looking at twenty-nine thousand, five-hundred and seventy-eight days... I think those seven days of "nothingness" are forgiveable in the long run, no?

I doubt if I look back retrospectively from the certain future I face of success, wealth, love, experience, liver failure and probably diabetes - whilst sitting by the poolside of my luxurious 9 bedroomed villa as my beautiful fourth wife rubs suntan lotion into my brown tanned (yet slightly wrinkled) skin and I lap ice-cream from the belly button of my teenage (yet very legal) mistress - I will say to myself, "I should have put those plans into motion seven days earlier".

And as someone once (probably) said: "Baby steps young one. Baby steps."

So forgive me for an actual lack of happenings that should have happened but ultimately haven't happened. And forgive me for my actual lack of excuse as to why the happenings haven't actually happened. And forgive me for the lack of motivation to put the plans into action, as there are no plans to put into action and no plan on making the plans.

But don't forgive me for taking time out of the 7140040 hours I potentially have in my lifetime to spend 1 hour 45 minutes watching the film "White Chicks". Some things are just unforgivable.